A Few Chuckles to Ease the Stress of the Holidays!

Christmas figures

To help ease the stress of the holidays please enjoy these for some  much needed chuckles. They were sent to me by my friend, Steve.

I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, “What brings you in today?”

I looked at her, and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn’t quite know how to respond.

Am I getting to be that age?
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So I’m wearing my garage door opener.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it ‘Pumping Rust.’
When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.’
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The’ and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells ‘Theirs…’

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.

Remember to pace yourself and don’t get too stressed. We all try to do too much over the holidays. I wish everyone well and hope these chuckles gave you some relief.

Blessings & Hugs!

Janice

Here is my Amazon Author Page: http://amazon.com/author/janicespina7

for gifts for all ages! Children love books about animals, books in rhyme and fun adventures. Please check them out today!

All Jemsbooks’ children’s books have life lessons in the stories that help children learn good behavior and how to be kind to others. If you have a child who doesn’t listen to you, read Louey the Lazy Elephant or Ricky the Rambunctious Raccoon for valuable lessons that will help. If you have a child who needs help understanding differences read Broose the Moose on the Loose or Lamby the Lonely Lamb for a lesson in accepting difference and being kind to others.

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Hurry and pick up my two novels, Hunting Mariah and How Far Is Heaven, at 99 cents each now and until 12/11/16!

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Check out Jemsbooks MG/PT/YA books – Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series Books 1-3, for adventures, mysteries, magic, fantasy! Kids and adults love them. They have won three book awards so far! Book 4 is coming soon!

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Spread some love through Reading this season!

REMEMBER: READING GIVES YOU WINGS TO FLY! SOAR WITH JEMSBOOKS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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About jjspina

Janice is an award-winning author with nine children's books for PS-Gr 4, five middle-grade/preteen/young adult books, written under Janice Spina, and two novels, and a short story collection written under J.E. Spina. She is also a writer of poetry, blogger, avid reader, reviewer and a copy editor. Janice has always loved writing and started very young writing poetry, then stories. Her children's book, Lamby the Lonely Lamby, won a Silver Medal in the Mom's Choice Awards. Book 1, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives, The Case of the Missing Cell Phone, won the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award and Honorable Mention from Readers' Favorite Book Awards. Book 2, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series, The Case of the Mysterious Black Cat, won the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award and so did Book 3, The Case of the Magical Ivory Elephant, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series. Jerry the Crabby Crayfish won a Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. All her books are available on Amazon.com, Create Space, Kindle, B&N and other online book sites. One of her sports' poems was published in The Lawrence Eagle Tribune in October of 2008. She is currently working on a mystery series for girls, a sequel to her first novel, Hunting Mariah, and a YA fantasy series will be coming in 2018 along with more children's books. Her hobbies are crocheting, walking to keep fit, hula hooping, going to the movies with her husband, and spending time with her five grandchildren. Janice loves to hear from readers and appreciates reviews. Sign up on her blog https://jemsbooks.wordpress.com for a copy of her newsletters under Contact Me. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband who is her illustrator and cover creator.
This entry was posted in animal stories, Blessings of Christmas, blogging, Books for all ages, books for special needs children, children's books, children's stories, How Far Is Heaven, Jemsbooks, kindness to others, paranormal romance, Writing, book reviews and publishing, poetry, children's books, YA and novels, Young adult and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to A Few Chuckles to Ease the Stress of the Holidays!

  1. Some good one-liners there! But how is it that our modern society has made this season so stressful? There was a time when the Holidays were for relaxing and recovering from stress!

  2. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Some Christmas cheer from Janice Spina.. a little sparkle every day does you good.. particularly like – Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

  3. Tina Frisco says:

    I received this very same email from my friend, Barbara! It must be making the rounds. So glad you posted, Janice. Laughter is a priceless commodity 🙂

  4. Thanks Janice, just what the doctor ordered. Did you know laughing makes you look younger LOL.

  5. HaHA! These are great, Janice 🙂

  6. noelleg44 says:

    Thanks Janice – a good reminder to SLOW down and enjoy the season. It’s been less stressful since we retired, but occasionally lonely since our chicks have flown the nest and don’t always make it home!

  7. dgkaye says:

    Some good reminders and entertainment. Thanks Janice. Happy holidays to you. ❤

  8. [Jumped over from Kate McClelland’s reblog] Love the quotes, but I really loved the mantle in the photo at the top. I have collected Byers Choice carolers since I found my first little family in a remainders bin at the Miracle on 34th Street Macy’s — when Joyce was *just* starting out and making dolls in her kitchen. Alas, no such bargains anymore.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    • jjspina says:

      Thanks, Madelyn! My husband buys one or two a year for me. That was my mantle last year, this year we moved them to a different spot. I will share them in a post for Christmas soon. Thanks for stopping by. Blessings of the season!

      • I display the Salvation people in one place, the Sandwich Board Man with the Christmas Carol series (as if they were all actors in a play on the way to a cast party), and the “regular” Carolers wherever I can – with my first family given pride of place.
        xx,
        mgh

      • jjspina says:

        Oh, they must look wonderful! I love them. Wish I had room for more of them! 😄🤗

      • Wish I had room in my *budget* for more of them! 🙂 xx, mgh

      • jjspina says:

        LOL! I know they are expensive. Don’t think I will be getting any this year. I told my husband not to buy too much. I don’t need anything. I spend enough on the grandkids! 😆

      • My original 4: Mom, a tall, skinny Dad in a Santa Suit (with a music scroll), and 2 kids – boy and girl cost less *in total* than one of the speciality Carolers today. All hand done, and “warmer” too. ::sigh::

        Christmas with kids – how fun – especially when you know they will be going home just about the time your own energy gives out 🙂

        How many and how old?
        xx,
        mgh

      • jjspina says:

        We five children and 8 grandchildren and two gr grandchildren between us. They don’t all come at the same day though.

      • From HERE it sounds like it would be great fun if they did!

        One of my fondest memories is one Christmas when my father’s best friend, Miles, wife Rene & four kids joined our family of 7 (5 kids) for Christmas, shortly after my father had been transferred from the Cape Canaveral/Cocoa Beach area (where Miles & family still lived). We had recently moved into a large house on on the Va. side of the DC area, after renting several small ones as the Mantua house was being built.

        I believe I was about 12, and one of the oldest. On Christmas morning, we couldn’t even walk from the steps leading down to the huge walkout basement rec room to the tree in the far corner for all the gaily wrapped presents.

        I don’t recall a single gift, but I do remember the laughter and amazement as it seemed we all opened presents for HOURS.

        I vaguely recall additional friends of both sets of parents showing up for dinner as well, but it’s odd I remember little about the preparations, since I was always tapped as “galley slave.”

        Today, of course, it would ALL have been captured by a variety of cell phones, no doubt. 🙂
        xx,
        mgh

  9. Norah says:

    Thanks for the giggles. What fun!

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