To help ease the stress of the holidays please enjoy these for some much needed chuckles. They were sent to me by my friend, Steve.
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, “What brings you in today?”
I looked at her, and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn’t quite know how to respond.
Am I getting to be that age?
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So I’m wearing my garage door opener.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it ‘Pumping Rust.’
When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.’
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The’ and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells ‘Theirs…’
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.
Remember to pace yourself and don’t get too stressed. We all try to do too much over the holidays. I wish everyone well and hope these chuckles gave you some relief.
Blessings & Hugs!
Here is my Amazon Author Page: http://amazon.com/author/janicespina7
for gifts for all ages! Children love books about animals, books in rhyme and fun adventures. Please check them out today!
All Jemsbooks’ children’s books have life lessons in the stories that help children learn good behavior and how to be kind to others. If you have a child who doesn’t listen to you, read Louey the Lazy Elephant or Ricky the Rambunctious Raccoon for valuable lessons that will help. If you have a child who needs help understanding differences read Broose the Moose on the Loose or Lamby the Lonely Lamb for a lesson in accepting difference and being kind to others.
Hurry and pick up my two novels, Hunting Mariah and How Far Is Heaven, at 99 cents each now and until 12/11/16!
Check out Jemsbooks MG/PT/YA books – Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series Books 1-3, for adventures, mysteries, magic, fantasy! Kids and adults love them. They have won three book awards so far! Book 4 is coming soon!
Spread some love through Reading this season!
REMEMBER: READING GIVES YOU WINGS TO FLY! SOAR WITH JEMSBOOKS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HANUKKAH & HAPPY NEW YEAR!