Funny Things We Need To Learn!

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Some funny things we all must read to survive in this crazy world! This was sent to me by my friend, Steve! Thanks for the laughs!

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Things That Took Me Fifty Years To Learn!!
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1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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2.) If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”.

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3.) There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.

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4.) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

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5.) And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

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6.) You should not confuse your career with your life.

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7.) No matter what happens… somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

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8.) When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

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9.) Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

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10.) A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

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11.) Never lick a steak knife.

12.) Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

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13.) “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

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14.) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

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Hope you enjoyed these!

Thank you for stopping by!

Blessings!

-Janice-

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About jjspina

Janice is an award-winning author with nine children's books for PS-Gr 4, five middle-grade/preteen/young adult books, written under Janice Spina, and two novels, and a short story collection written under J.E. Spina. She is also a writer of poetry, blogger avid reader, reviewer and a copy editor. Janice has always loved writing and started very young writing poetry, then stories. Her children's book, Lamby the Lonely Lamby, won a Silver Medal in the Mom's Choice Awards. Book 1, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives, The Case of the Missing Cell Phone, won the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award and Honorable Mention from Readers' Favorite Book Awards. Book 2, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series, The Case of the Mysterious Black Cat, won the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award and so did Book 3, The Case of the Magical Ivory Elephant, Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series. Jerry the Crabby Crayfish won a Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. All her books are available on Amazon.com, Create Space, Kindle, B&N and other online book sites. One of her sports' poems was published in The Lawrence Eagle Tribune in October of 2008. She is currently working on a mystery series for girls, a sequel to her first novel, Hunting Mariah, and a YA fantasy series will be coming in 2018 along with more children's books. Janice loves to hear from readers and appreciates reviews.
This entry was posted in blogging, Funnies, positive thoughts, Reading, Writing, book reviews and publishing, poetry, children's books, YA and novels and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Funny Things We Need To Learn!

  1. Thanks for my wake up giggles. 🙂 😀 😛

  2. Behind the Story says:

    I loved them. Funny and wise. Thank you.

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